Its been a month since I launched my new (ad)venture. I wanted to document a part of my story, so far. Just as a note to myself of how far I've come and what I can look forward to.
The question, where are you now, really speaks to me on a spiritual level. I read that God meets us where we are. Not where we are supposed to be. And thankfully, in every aspect of our lives. It gives me great comfort knowing that He is PATIENT and promises to see me through it. I'm taking this opportunity to reflect on that question.
So where am I now. I am not where I used to be. Phew. I no longer live for myself - took me the longest time to realise that it was pointless. I definitely am not comfortable either - spoiler alert. I am not there yet - no one is! I am more at peace now than I once was.*sigh
When I started this adventure, there were moments of deep joy. There is no greater joy than to pursue your life long ambition with unwavering faith and commitment. And then I quickly learned that this was going to be a journey of perseverance and pure passion.
A pastor shared, staying power is more important than starting power!
I've harnessed some staying power in other areas of life over the course of life. So I am going to apply it sparingly and thoroughly in this process. But starting power was really lacking, I didn't know how to start and I didn't know if I had the strength to do so. But God is faithful, He gave me a vision and wisdom to simply start.
So a month on, I admit it took me awhile to own up to my new business. Even when I am asked, what do you do? I barely get the words out right. But I have overcome the initial shyness, I am more convicted of who I am now. Also, I am reminded of when I held interesting job titles in the past, yet I felt awkward introducing myself in the workplace. A case of imposter syndrome, perhaps. But I know that an imposter syndrome only exists if you allow it to, thankfully I no longer dwell on that.
I love that I get to help others achieve their personal goals - I feel I have been gifted with this opportunity. I remain accountable to this gift by looking after myself too. I am more self-disciplined, I have to, in order to make it. Interesting fact, I was never a morning person, I used to have 3 different alarms to help me get out of bed in the morning - my husband can confirm this. But now I get up at 6am every morning. I have taken up running again but with a renewed positive outlook - I am running my own race with endurance. Apart from that, I am doing everything with love. The small mundane and the big meaningful things go hand-in-hand.
I have become more mindful and self aware. I am conscientious and intentional because of what I stand for and what I represent. I represent my faith - my Christian values guide me. I represent my family and friendships - my support network. I represent the women who have gone before me - without their struggle and sacrifice I would not have been inspired as I am today. I know that I represent a protected group - ethnic minority women who work tirelessly to remove barriers. I am reminded time and time again, I am not doing this to serve my own self-interests. As cliche as it sounds, empowered women, empower women because its good karma.
The beauty of starting your own business right now is that you're joining forces with a new wave of entrepreneurs who have become so diverse, innovative and resilient in the face of a pandemic. What a beautiful time to bloom! So we are not alone and we are all navigating our own course. Plotting and planning. We are literally creating history. And the hunger is there, a driving force. We will stumble but we will keep striving, there is an entire community working together to build bridges, to help each other grow. I am accountable to myself and to the community I represent. Our moment has come.
Don't be a passenger in your life. Learn to drive.
I've also learned to be bold (or more assertive), in a very gracious way, in how I interact or build relationships, or in my pursuit of my goals. I am actively taking initiative too, I don't rest on my laurels or wait for people to come through, or things to fall nicely into place. Not in business, you have to go for what you want, but with kindness, humour and manners. I believe you attract what you deserve, when you start to believe you deserve it. And more importantly, we should treat others how we want to be treated.
When given the choice between being right or being kind, choose kind.
A former line manager once told me I was persistent! No joke. And he spoke it like it was a compliment! And another told me, that nobody likes a smarty pants! Not a compliment but laced with humour and grace because I laughed. It was their honesty and sincerity that struck me the most and I took no offence. Its how you interpret it that matters. But more importantly, its where you are too.
I am where I am supposed to be, living courageously and humbly. I am not living in the past. I am not on cruise control. I am living in truth and freedom. I am set apart for such a time as this. I am here.