Coaching Conversations #2 - Seeking Clarity

Definition of clarity – the quality of being coherent and intelligible.

This topic is a popular one, a common issue and one that is not limited to career but impacts life in general. I have also had my fair share of issues when clarity is missing. Its immediate effect is lack of direction, which can also lead to lack of confidence, lack of purpose and impact.

When I started off in coaching, I wondered about how I would portray myself on social media. Actually, I didn’t wonder, I worried about this. I am a born again Christian and coach, and I wrestled with this, almost likened it to the 'the chicken or the egg' scenario. I sought godly counsel to help me with this personal dilemma and it became so clear as to who I am, on this space and that is, I am a Christian coach. It definitely made life easier. My identity is rooted in Christ; I am called to serve through coaching. It is my vocation.

Definition of vocation – a strong feeling of suitability for a particular career or occupation.

I know that not all of us have a vocation to be a coach or a nurse or a teacher. And this is where the root of this issue lies, often times, we do not know who we are or what we should be doing. Society might have implied that this is what we should be doing, or formed strong opinions about our identity based on colour, gender or cultural background. Hence, clarity is always sought after.

I came across this interesting quote on LinkedIn and I felt like women were misunderstood here. Yes, women are multi-skilled and can multi-task, and as a result are valued for this ability at times. But here lies the danger, taking on more than they can manage, unable to say no but hoping that they would get recognised for their efforts, and not realising that impact it can have on their mental health or wellbeing. Along the way, actually further down the line, they realise that they have lost clarity and direction.

I have my reservations now about this type of mentality or work ethic. But society has evolved and now we find ourselves in a situation where we want more, do more yet don’t get much in return or even enjoy what we are doing. Women have been empowered to go beyond expectations. I can totally relate to this situation. Being a woman of colour and an immigrant myself, I seized every opportunity to grow and develop, to help support my family. I am sure my readers will agree that our efforts are geared towards helping our families.

My clients seek and need clarity. One client recently shared that coaching helped her gain perspective and to stay on track. Sometimes she finds herself doing stuff she shouldn't be doing and not doing stuff she should be doing. This is a classic experience. And raises the question, why? Coaching conversations help to reframe your outlook to getting things done. Another client discovered that discussing her schedule or projects in-depth, helps her to reprioritise better. And holding off on certain projects or plans is a blessing in disguise, returning it to a later date with the right mind-set and energy.

As mentioned earlier, where there is a lack of clarity, there is a lack of confidence. And more importantly, you lose track of your purpose, resources and time.

To begin with, understanding who you are is important. I had to go through this process of self-discovery or self-reflection, what am I passionate about, how can I serve others, and who am I? And yes, more importantly, whose goals / standards am I working towards? Who have I aligned myself to? I also bring this to coaching, encouraging clients to dig deep and find answers to some of these questions. The point here is to help steer them in the direction of their vocation. To stay true to their identity which is a challenge in itself. But the point being that work isn't work, if you are equipped for it and enjoy it!

However, if your struggle is about taking on more or not enough, how to set right priorities, measure your growth, etc.? Or sometimes the challenges of life can cloud our judgment or cause us to stumble, wander off course. I would encourage you to either seek godly counsel, coaching or mentoring often and especially in tough seasons, to help you put the joy, peace, clarity and direction back into your journey.

From my own experience, godly counsel has been a tremendous source of support but also my faith has been my guiding light and source of inspiration.

Thank you for reading; I hope it gave you a bit of clarity on our situation. I am more than happy to help, if you are seeking clarity for yourself.

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